The Guilt of Leaving Family Behind during migration

Migration is rarely just an individual journey. When we leave, we also leave others behind—parents, siblings, extended family, sometimes even children. Alongside hope and opportunity, many migrants carry a heavy, quiet companion: guilt.

This guilt can appear in many forms. It may come as a voice whispering: “You abandoned them.” Or as a constant pressure to succeed, to prove that the sacrifice was worth it. Some feel torn between two worlds, living physically in one place while their hearts remain in another.

Psychoanalytically, this guilt is more than a moral feeling. It touches unconscious bonds of loyalty and love. In many cultures, family ties are deeply entwined with identity; leaving them behind may feel like betraying not only others, but also a part of oneself. This can lead to anxiety, sleeplessness, or even a difficulty in fully enjoying life abroad—because joy itself may feel like disloyalty; "The Guilt of Leaving Family Behind during migration".

Often, this guilt carries the weight of unresolved family dynamics. Perhaps one was always the “responsible” child, or the one expected to provide. Migration disrupts these roles, but the unconscious contract remains. Even from afar, the migrant may still feel indebted, trapped in obligations that cannot be fulfilled.

And yet, guilt also signals love. It is the psyche’s way of showing that these bonds matter. The challenge is not to erase guilt, but to understand it—to recognize which parts belong to the past, which to the present, and which can be transformed into care rather than burden.

Therapy offers a space to explore these conflicting loyalties, to grieve what cannot be carried, and to find ways of staying connected without being consumed.

If you live with the ache of having left loved ones behind, know that you are not alone. This guilt, when understood, can become less of a chain and more of a bridge.

If this resonates with your experience, I would be honored to accompany you in exploring it during a session.