Homesickness as Mourning

When we speak of homesickness, it often sounds like a passing sadness—a longing for familiar streets, food, or faces. But for many migrants, homesickness runs much deeper. It is not simply missing home; it is a form of mourning.

Migration, even when chosen freely, carries loss. We lose the rhythm of a language that once held us. We lose the gestures and rituals that made the everyday feel natural. We may even lose the version of ourselves who only existed in that place. These are not small losses. They echo in the psyche much like the death of a loved one.

Psychoanalytically, mourning is the slow, often painful process of saying goodbye to something that cannot fully return. Homesickness is this process turned inward: a quiet grief for the land, the people, and the life left behind. Some feel it as heaviness in the body, others as a persistent ache of absence.

The difficulty is that this mourning is rarely acknowledged. Society tells us to “adapt” or “move on.” Yet what is lost cannot simply be replaced. Without space to grieve, the migrant may feel stuck—caught between a past that is gone and a present that feels unfinished.

But mourning, if allowed, can also transform. By naming homesickness as grief, we give ourselves permission to feel it, to honor it. Slowly, the pain of absence can make space for new connections, new meanings, new ways of belonging.

If you notice your homesickness feels heavy, almost like a shadow that follows you, it may not be a weakness—it may be mourning. And like any grief, it deserves time, compassion, and a safe space to be spoken.

If you are living with this silent grief, I would be honored to walk with you through it in a therapeutic session.